It's been six months now that Alex could not sleep, or only a few hours here and there. And again, it was due to exhaustion or sleeping pills that he drank every night. Six months that he still did not understand why his wife had left without saying anything, leaving them alone, he and Lucas. Their son. He too lived it badly, very badly. The incessant nightmares punctuated her nights, their nights.
This night was no exception to the rule.
- Dad ! Dad !
That shrill voice screaming in terror, Alex heard it every day, every night, whenever night fell. The first few nights, Alex did not pay attention, but it became recurrent, he had finally found that Lucas howled at the same time. Not in the same time slot, no. At the same time ! To the minute. This could in no way be a coincidence. One night, in anger, Alex had destroyed his radio-alarm clock with his fist. He could not stand to see that hour that was showing off those big bright red numbers. In the shadows of his room, he had the impression that only these three figures existed.
Three, three, two.
Since then, even if he happened to see the time sometimes, he waited in the shadows that his son calls for help. A half-light to which he had not got used. She scared him. He had never realized how scary the night could be. The grinding of a door at the neighbors, a cracking wall, the roar of the refrigerator, no sound escaped him, not even the meowing of a stray cat and even less the howls of Lucas. Alex dreaded closing his eyes. Even one second. He did not want to see his son, the rest of his life, fly away. So that each night, he hastened to reassure his son of his presence.
- Dad ! Dad !
- Hush! Dad is here, champion. Alex whispered.
Lucas clung to his father, as if he was going to fall into the void. Alex could feel the terror his son was feeling. He was sweating profusely and his little heart was beating so hard it felt like it was ringing all over the house.
- He was still here, dad. At the window, I swear. Crying boy.
- It's still a nightmare, my boy. Look, the shutters are closed.
- No, I do not want to watch, dad.
- Okay that's good. Do not look. But I'm here now.
It was the same ritual every night. Lucas saw a shadow through his window. He could not perfectly distinguish the features of this individual, but he could see his eyes perfectly. Big yellow eyes and very white skin. This is how he represented it on these drawings that he sketched every day. Two big yellow eyes on a white face without lines and a black shadow, imposing, like wrapped in a big hooded parka. She was standing in front of her window, an observer, staring at him with that look to make a dead man pale. According to the child psychiatrist who followed him, this was how his son pictured his mother's abandonment: a threatening shadow. As the sessions progressed, the doctor explained to Alex that his son was imagining a kind of evil creature watching him and waiting for Lucas to look at him to make him disappear like his mother. He lived in utter denial and in his world it was impossible for his mother to abandon him.
- I love you, my dear. Hold on, we'll be fine. Alex whispered, a tear rolling on his cheek.
Lucas had fallen asleep, as always, huddled in his father's arms and waking up only in the early morning. Alex would have liked to take him to his bed and hug him tightly, but according to the doctor it would not help him overcome his fear. Then, with a tight heart, he did as every night. He put it back in his bed, bordered it and kissed him on the forehead. Then he left, still in the dim light, to return to his room. He persisted in not putting the light on, because he wanted at all costs to remember that it was night. He was trying to cope with his depression, to hold the dragee high so as not to abandon his child. He had become insomniac and not to sink into the abyss of dementia, he imposed complete darkness during the night so as not to compromise his circadian cycle.
Alex came into his room and pretended that he did not see those three luminous numbers that took up the whole surface of his wall and blinked like after a power failure.
Three, three, two.
He lay down and wrapped himself in his duvet. He tried to close his eyes, but he could not. Always this fear of losing his child. Then he looked in spite of himself at this blinking hour, reminding him of that famous night at three thirty-two minutes. That night when, waking up, thinking that he had heard screaming, he had discovered his empty bed. He had not worried too much, but not seeing his wife return to the room after half an hour, he had risen and thought he was dying when he found out that she was not in any room in the apartment. He had tried to reach her on his mobile phone, but he had stayed at home. Like all his stuff, by the way. His world had collapsed like a house of cards in a draft and now only held a thread ... Lucas. If he was not there, he would have already surrendered. Finally, the man was only strong with a woman by his side. Without her, Alex had the feeling of being useless and not being able to face fate. How long would he be able to stand up? How long can he protect his child? He was doing his best, but every day that passed, Alex was just rehearsing all their arguments. He had always thought that they were indispensable in a couple and that they allowed love to continue over time, as long as they were not too frequent. But this certainty was shaken that famous night at three thirty-two minutes. Since then he had been desperately searching for what could have caused her to flee in the middle of the night, without bringing anything with her and even giving up her child. He did not recognize the woman he had married the year before and who had shared his life for ten years.
Alex was out of his dreams and his heart racing as he heard those little feet drumming on the floor.
- Dad ! Dad ! Lucas shouted again.
This time, he was running fast in Alex's room, frightened as if he was being hunted down. He was suffocating, he had never seen his son so frightened. Alex got up and intercepted the little boy who jumped instantly into his arms.
- It's over, darling. It's finish. Do you want to sleep with dad?
- Yes Dad. Cried the little boy.
Alex lay down delicately in the bed, hugging his son tightly against him.
- Oh no, daddy! I left comforter alone! Lucas shouted.
- Calm down. It does not matter, we'll get it back tomorrow.
- No. No. No. Excited his son. We can not leave him alone! He will take a blankie with him.
- Nobody is going to take anyone, okay? Alex answered calmly.
- If dad, he'll take her away. Please, go get it. I think I made a mistake. Pleura Lucas.
- What? What do you mean ? Nonsense ?
- I think I opened the window.
- Do you think so, or are you sure?
- I do not know dad any more. Please, go get blankie.
- OKAY. I'll go see, but calm down. Do you know that windows or doors should not be opened in the middle of the night?
- Yes, I'm sorry, dad. I do not know why I did that.
- It does not matter, but you have to promise me not to do it again.
- It's promised, dad.
Alex had not yet cleared the door when his son called.
- Dad ! You can close the door when you leave.
- Good, Lucas. Stop Please.
- Please, dad.
- That's enough, I have it for thirty seconds. I come again.
Alex crossed the hallway between the two rooms, and when he entered Lucas's, he felt a shiver through his body. He had the impression that he was being watched. He turned his head in all directions, but saw nothing, not even those yellow eyes that opened behind him and disappeared immediately. The window was indeed open and he hastened to close it. He then fumbled with his son's bed and grabbed his comforter, a little blue bear with one eye missing and a nose that looked like an old fabric that would have gone through several centuries. Even in the dark, he knew it was him, because he had the smell that only his son seemed not to feel.
- Dad ! Help ! Let go of me ! Let go of me !
Alex's blood spun and he strode to his room. He banged against the wall in the hallway and found himself on the buttocks. A pain radiated his coccyx. Alex got up, put aside his obsession and looked for the switch, then turned it on.
The light burned his eyes, and his son's absence broke his heart.
- Dad !
The cry came from the living room. Alex turned around, fear intermingling with anger made his heart beat into his temples. He arrived in the living room and turned on the light, but his son was still not there.
- Lucas! Lucas! Alex shouted.
Like rising from the far end of a cave. Darkness, perhaps? His son's voice answered him like an echo.
- Dad ! Dad !
There was only the kitchen left, so he opened the door with a big shoulder, but saw nothing. He was nevertheless convinced of it. It was from there that he had heard the last cries of his son. His eyes were attracted by the door of the buffet, left open. Then, just ahead, he saw the little blue bear. It was impossible, unthinkable, he could not be there. He approached slowly, fear in his stomach. He felt his heart beating in his throat now.
- Lucas? Alex asked in an uncertain voice.
He stepped forward and crouched in front of the door, he put his head down.
- Dad ! shouted the little boy who popped out of the buffet.
Alex was surprised, but with a reflex, he clung to his son and was caught inside. It was suddenly cold and the silence that reigned here was deafening. He was plunged back into darkness, a darkness even darker than those he had known so far. He must have been in a nightmare. It could only be that, he thought.
- Lucas? Are you there, champion?
Alex could not see anything, he was groping his way. He did not recognize where he was. All his senses were on the alert in search of the least noise, the least smell. He was cautiously advancing in the maze of these paths, blind, guided by a kind of invisible aura. Instinct ? The sixth sense? In the distance, a ray of light appeared on the floor. There was surely a door. He hurried and started running.
- Lucas? Lucas?
After, what seemed like an eternity, he finally arrived at a door he did not wait to open. His mind failed to crack. He had trouble accepting what he saw.
- Dad ! You found us.
- Lucas, but ... I do not understand.
- Hi Alex. I missed you so much.
- Julie? It's not true ? Julie, it's really you? Oh my dear.
Alex ran to hug his wife and son. Then he kissed Julie passionately. She had missed him so much. At the touch of his lips, the breath that came out of his nose and seemed to run all over his body, he could not stop his tears from running.
- Where are we? He finally asks.
- I do not know, Alex. I'm stuck here since earlier. When Lucas started screaming.
- Since earlier ? It's been six months since you disappeared, darling.
- Six months ? Oh my God.
Julie put a hand to her mouth and repressed a sob, imagining her husband and son, alone, without news of her.
- Hush ... it's over, we're here now. Explain to me what happened. How did you get there? Alex asked.
Lucas started screaming. He looked scared, so I got up and went to see him. As the nights are hot this summer, he sleeps the open window. I closed it, because strangely, it was cool in his room. There I noticed that at the end of his room the door of his wardrobe was open. I approached to close it and when I arrived in front, I saw ...
- A white face with big yellow eyes? Alex asked, seeing his wife hesitate to describe what she had seen.
- How do you know ? Did you see it too?
- Not me.
- Oh no. Lucas. Julie cried, looking at her sleeping child on her lap.
She continued her story in pain, every word seemed to tear her flesh away. That sudden darkness, that thing, that monster, that creature that had paralyzed her with fear, her paws resting on her and caressing her entire body. Then, his flight. Long and endless. She had run, without stopping and turning when she was out of breath, she had landed there. In this light room. There was nothing here. Only light and a door leading into those dark corridors.
- Do not blame me Alex, but ...
- But what ?
- I knew that these corridors could lead me to you, but every time I tried to go ... I saw ... those eyes ... this ...
- It's good, I do not blame you. Do not blame yourself either, okay?
- I tried Alex ... I tried, but with every attempt ... I could not find a way out ... and ... and ... oh, my god. Julie cried, shuddering.
Julie began to cry unceasingly, her eyes closed. She winced in terror as she touched her body. Alex grabbed her hands and hugged her tightly. On his neck he saw what looked like scars. For having traveled his body with his eyes and hands for so many years, he knew she had none before he disappeared. He was so intrigued that he slowly cleared Julie's sweater collar and shuddered at the sight of her back.
- Julie. What happened, darling? Alex cried.
- She's ... this ... this thing. Every time I walked through this door to try to find you ... I always found myself in the dark ... in endless corridors ... no way ... no. I never found you ...
- We're here now. She tried to reassure her Alex.
- I was running as fast as possible ... I saw her in the distance ... her eyes Alex, they terrify me. They appear without warning and there, you feel her posing ...
Julie closed her eyes again, she began to tremble, as if she was hypothermic.
- Its paws. She continued. Then she tries to draw you to her. I resisted him and I was able to run away every time. But it was always the same pain, I felt that she lacerated my back with scalpels. I do not have the strength Alex anymore. Do something, please. Get out of this nightmare.
- I'll get out of here, darling. I promise you. But I'm going to ask you one last effort. We have to go back to these corridors.
- No Alex, I'm so scared. There is no way out here. I already tried.
- Yes, there is one. Believe me. I just got it. The night you disappeared, I remember that the door of Lucas's wardrobe was open. I closed it, that's probably why you did not find a way out. I closed it. I'm sorry, sweetheart.
- You could not have known. Julie kissed him.
- If my reasoning is the right one, then at the other end of these corridors there is a way out, because nobody at us has closed the door of the buffet.
Alex stood up and extended his hand to his wife to help him get back on his feet. He then woke up his son, who, from the height of his six years, seemed to be armed with unshakable courage. He told them that they had to hold hands as hard as they could and run without stopping until they saw light. It would look like a tiny window and they'll have to jump in without thinking when they see it.
They looked at each other in the eye and crossed the door towards the darkness. They did not wait and ran. Alex opened the march and with one hand extended forward he tried to guide his family to the exit, the rescue, and with his other hand, he felt that of his son, she seemed so thin and fragile. Julie, meanwhile, closed the march despite this fear of being lacerated back again. It was so cold, the air was humid. It smelled like mildew. They ran all three, losing breath, without turning around. Alex called his wife every ten seconds to make sure he was there. Lucas was starting to let go, he was exhausted. When they finally saw the light, a tiny window - as he had imagined - seemed to be drawing in the distance. Suddenly, halfway, a shadow slipped down the hall. They stopped breathless and frightened at seeing this pale face. Two big yellow eyes opened and the shadow went towards them, slowly, then faster and faster. The atmosphere gets colder again, so much so that they see condensation coming out of their mouths. Alex felt the little hand of his son clinging to his.
- Alex! We turn around! What are you waiting for ?
- No baby. We go for it.
- Have you gone mad? Julie worried.
- Trust me. We go for it and when we are up to it, Julie, you do not stop. You take Lucas in your arms and you go to the light.
- And you ?
- Do not worry about me. Do not think, he comes here. DARK! DARK!
They ran off, Julie stared at the exit and nothing else. She ran at a brisk pace. The exit approached more and more and this small window became bigger and bigger. She was now so big that she could throw herself inside and land with her son in her kitchen, in the light, at home, at last. Then she turned suddenly and stared at the door of the buffet. It was as if she was in apnea. Eyes wide open, she looked at this door hoping to see Alex come out. The seconds were slowly fading and the weather seemed suspended. Alex would not want her to take the risk of putting them in danger, he was probably telling him to close the door, but Julie could not do it. It was stronger than her. His gaze rested successively on this door, open on the darkness, and on his son. This gift of life that brings you joy and happiness. Then, Alex appeared, bloody, she helped him out of there.
- Close this door! Alex shouted.
One year later...
Several hundred kilometers away, Alex, Julie and Lucas had returned to normal life, or almost. They had left their apartment immediately after closing the door of the buffet. They would not have been able to stay in this place for another minute and decided to go far to rebuild their lives. There, where no one would judge them. There, where no one would stare at Julie wondering what had happened to her when she decided to leave in the middle of the night, abandoning her child. There, where no one would look at Alex with pity, wondering if it was his crazy woman who had slashed her face. There, where no one would speculate on Lucas's chances of escaping unhurt in this life, in this world. Nevertheless, they managed to lead an ordinary life ... the day only. For when night fell, before going to bed, they could not help remembering these horrible memories.
Lucas was brushing his teeth, and when he finished, he went to bed. The only piece of furniture in his room. There was no wardrobe or closet and not even a dresser. There was nothing that could open to darkness. The whole house was so, there was not a single piece of furniture with doors. It was simpler and more reassuring. Easier, because every night, Alex checked that all the doors of the house were closed. He had just gone around, and then every evening, he went to check a second time. Always in the same order, the front door first. He checked that it was tightly closed on all three locks. Then the door to the bathroom, then the bathroom and it would end up in the rooms after going through the kitchen. In the kitchen, he checked that the padlock on the refrigerator was securely closed and that the cooker door lock was in place, as well as the door of the microwave oven. Always the same ritual, an obsession. Then Alex joined Julie for the rest of the night.
3:32 ...
Like every night, even when he was sleeping, Alex could not help but wake up and get up at the same time. He made sure that his wife and child were still there, then went to check one last time that no door was open. Always in the same order. When he was in the living room, he felt a shudder that made him shiver with fear. The curtain of the French window waved slightly as when a summer breeze was coming to you. Only at home, that was impossible, because never again could they feel this pleasant sensation. Unless he forgot to close that door.
- No ! It's impossible ! thought Alex.
He walked to the French window slowly, his heart resonating in his throat. He had a bad feeling. He slowly put his hand down, then, relieved, he found that it was closed. Night had fallen quickly last night and he had not had time to shut the shutter. He had resolved to close only the curtains, not wanting to risk opening the window. Alex was sweating, he swallowed hard and caught himself smiling.
- You're stupid. He thought aloud.
He looked one last time through the window, as if to convince himself that there was absolutely nothing. That all this was playing out in his imagination forever perverted by this thing. He jumped suddenly and fear made him lose his balance. In front of him, standing against the window, stood the shadow and the face without features, without soul. She stared at him with her big yellow eyes and seemed to have interfered in her head. Alex could even hear him whisper.
- Open me your door !
